A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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