she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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