Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
