Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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