I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
