Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
