And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
