sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
