i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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