At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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