i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
