I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
