She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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