Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The struggles of a small town man whore
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
