2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
