somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
