Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
