that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
