this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
