So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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