I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
