just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
