I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
