He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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