Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
