she woke up with a sticky ear
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
