i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
