he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
