Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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