Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
