That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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