I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
