Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
