If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
