Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
