And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
