I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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