the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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