We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
And my parents said I crawled through the house
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
