I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
