You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
