I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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