some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
