I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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