Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
