so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This toilet bowl is my home.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
