8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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