He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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