I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
