Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
