he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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