Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
